


Whoops

by TenaciousGoldfish



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Discussion of Abortion, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Binary Karkat Vantas, Other, Penis In Vagina Sex, Trans Karkat Vantas, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29730489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenaciousGoldfish/pseuds/TenaciousGoldfish
Summary: Kk gets knocked up after a one night stand.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, one sided dave strider/ jade harley
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 22:34 --

GA: Hello Karkat

GA: I Hope You Are Doing Well

GA: Do You Have Plans For The Evening?

CG: DEPENDS.

CG: WHY ARE YOU ASKING?

GA: I Was Wondering If You Would Be Interested In Accompanying Me To A Function Tonight

CG: SOUNDS SUSPICIOUSLY VAGUE.

CG: WHAT KIND OF FUNCTION?

GA: Just A Gathering Of Friends

GA: A Party Of Sorts

CG: DAMN, YOU KNOW I’D LOVE TO BUT I’M ACTUALLY SUPER BUSY TONIGHT.

CG: SUUUUPER BUSY.

GA: Please Karkat?

GA: I Would Really Like To Go But I Cannot Bring Myself To Go Alone

CG: PASS.

GA: Please?

CG: NOPE.

GA: It’s Being Hosted By Rose And I Was Hoping To Confess My Feelings For Her Tonight

GA: I Would Really Appreciate Your Support

GA: Please Karkat I Can’t Do It Without You

CG: DON’T YOU USE MY LOVE OF ROMANCE AGAINST ME.

CG: BESIDES, WHY ME?

CG: ASK JADE, I’M SURE SHE’D LOVE TO GO GET SHITFACED WITH STRANGERS.

GA: She’s Already There

GA: I Don’t Want To Show Up Alone

GA: Please Karkat?

CG: AUUUGH!

CG: FINE.

CG: FUCK YOU THOUGH.

CG: YOU OWE ME SO FUCKING MUCH FOR THIS AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT.

GA: Thank You!

GA: I Wont Forget Karkat

GA: I’ll Make Sure To Repay You In The Future

CG: YOU BETTER.

GA: I Swear I Will

GA: I’m On My Way

CG: WHAT?

CG: NOW?

CG: I’M NOT READY!

CG: JESUS KANAYA YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME MORE WARNING THAN THAT!

GA: Sorry

GA: You Have Fifteen Minutes

CG: GODDAMMIT.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 22:48

You reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed and over to your closet. You threw on a comfortable sweater and a pair of sweatpants, cause fuck it. You weren’t trying to impress anyone so who the fuck cares what you wear. You weren’t about to dress up for a bunch of obnoxious drunk assholes.

You sat on your bed with your arms crossed, glaring at nothing. Fuck parties. You hated crowds, loud music, and drunk fuckers and parties were an unholy combination of all three. You decided that you would stay for an hour and no longer. Kanaya had better spill her guts to Rose quickly and get out or else you would do it for her. You’d march up to Rose, tell her that Kanaya wants to fuck her, and drag Kanaya out by her ear if you had to.

Kanaya texted you when she arrived, and you slid off your bed with a groan. You dragged your feet all the way down the hall. You _really_ didn’t want to go to that stupid fucking party.

When you opened the front door your dad called, “Where do you think you’re going?” from the living room.

“None of your damn business!” you yelled back.

“Fucking brat,” he grumbled.

You rolled your eyes and walked to Kanaya’s car. It was an ugly old piece of shit, but it was better than your car. Which is to say, it actually existed. 

“You owe me so fucking much,” you said as soon as you got in the car.

“Yes, we’ve established that,” Kanaya replied. “Let’s go, shall we?”

The drive to Rose’s place was spent in comfortable silence. You were too grumpy for small talk and Kanaya tended to get quiet when she was nervous. The view kept you entertained well enough. The further Kanaya drove the thicker the trees became until the road was bracketed by nothing but forest walls.

You had never been to Rose’s place before and you didn’t think Kanaya had either. Apparently she lived in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.

“Your destination is on the left,” the GPS said.

“‘On the left’?” you said, “There isn’t a fucking thing on the left besides trees! Oh, nevermind, there was a driveway. You passed it.”

Kanaya sighed and made a U-turn. “Rose did say that it was hard to find.”

She pulled onto the damn near invisible driveway and slowly made her way down. There were countless cars parked along the narrow road and your nerves instantly skyrocketed. You never would have agreed to come if you knew how many people would be here, Kanaya be damned.

“Well,” Kanaya said, “this is… busy.”

“Yep.”

Kanaya pulled into the first free space she could find and turned off the engine. She sat staring out the windshield, not making a move for a moment. You were about to ask her what was up when she dropped her forehead onto the steering wheel and groaned. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Well, it’s not too late to turn back around and go home,” you said with a shrug.

Kanaya glared at you out of the corner of her eye, “No. I have to do this. I refuse to hide my feelings for Rose any longer. I promised myself I would do it today so I _will._ I’m just… nervous. What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

You raised a dubious eyebrow at her, “That’s fucking ridiculous. Have you seen the way she looks at you? It’s like she’s starving and you’re a three-course meal. She obviously likes you. It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah. She’s just…” she hesitated, “I really want this to go well.”

“It will. Now come on you big baby, you can do this,” you said getting out of the car.

Kanaya took a deep breath and climbed out of the car after you. “I can do this,” she whispered to herself, “I can do this.”

You hooked your arm through hers and practically dragged her down the rest of the driveway. It wasn’t for a full minute of walking that a house even became visible. The closer you got the more intimidated you became. It was massive. You’d never been inside a house that big before and you felt like the low-class fuck you were. Like a peasant daring to enter a noble estate. You forced your nerves down and kept walking. You weren’t going to let a fucking _house_ intimidate you.

You and Kanaya walked up the steps to the porch and hesitated at the door.

“Do we knock, or…?” you said.

“Um… maybe? I don’t know. I think we just walk in?”

“Fuck it,” you sighed.

Pushing open the door you were immediately hit by the acrid scent of booze and sweat. Deafening house music blared, the bass so heavy you could feel it in your bones. The house was dark, lit only by purple lights lining the walls, but it was enough to make out the sea of dancers in front of you. The room was a mess of sweaty, writhing bodies and you did not belong.

Judging by the look on Kanaya’s face she felt the same. You grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before pulling her inside. If you were going to put up with a house full of drunk strangers, you weren’t going to do it sober.

You skirted the walls, dodging flailing limbs, until you came upon the kitchen. It was nowhere near as crowded and you took a second to appreciate the fact that no one was sweating on you at the moment.

There was an island in the middle of the room with bottles and cliché red solo cups covering every square inch. You found a cup you were pretty sure was clean and filled it with liquor from the first bottle you grabbed. You hated the taste of alcohol, so it didn’t matter to you what variety of nasty you drank as long as it did its job.

You took a quick swig and recoiled in disgust. Of course it had to be tequila. Fucking disgusting. At least it wouldn’t take much to fuck you up.

Once Kanaya had gotten herself a drink- the only one she would have, she promised- the two of you reluctantly left the relative peace of the kitchen to start searching for Rose.

With Kanaya’s hand in yours you weaved through the crowd, keeping an eye out for a head of white-blonde hair. You struggled not to completely lose your shit as you were bumped and jostled by the dancers. As it was you still let out a couple choice words when you were shoved particularly hard.

You were on the verge of saying fuck it and asking Kanaya to go home when Rose suddenly broke through the crowd and latched onto Kanaya’s free arm.

“Kanya!” she exclaimed, clearly shitfaced already. “I’ve been looking for you!”

Kanaya’s face lit up in a bright blush and she let go of your hand to steady Rose. “Are you alright?”

“Course! I’m even better now that you’re here,” Rose said with a wink. “You’re so pretty, you know that, Kanayi? Shit, no, it’s Kanaya. Kan-ah-ya. Your name is so pretty, I shouldn’t mess it up like that.”

“Um… It’s alright,” Kanaya said, clearly at a loss for what to do.

Rose suddenly gasped dramatically, “I have something to show you! Come on, it’ll be fun!”

And with that, Rose dragged Kanaya away, leaving you in the middle of the dance floor alone.

You suddenly felt like a little kid who lost their mom in the supermarket. You pushed past the dancers until you reached the wall and flattened yourself against it. You never should have agreed to come. You should have known you wouldn’t be able to stick to Kanaya the entire time. Fuck.

You took another sip of your drink in a vain attempt to calm your nerves and started to inch along the wall and out of the crowd. Your current priorities were to either find a place with no people, or someone you knew. From the looks of it, neither seemed likely.

You searched the people around you for anyone familiar, but between the dim lighting, energetic dancing, and tequila you’d drank you were struggling to focus on the faces you saw. You decided to look for somewhere quiet instead.

You hadn’t gotten far before you were practically body checked by someone twice your size. You would have eaten shit if they hadn’t caught you. You looked up and saw a familiar mass of curly black hair.

“Shit, sorry, Karkat!” Jade exclaimed, steadying you. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Fuck, Harley, I’ve never been so glad to see you in my life.”

Jade gave you a glassy eyed grin, clearly drunk, and said, “Good! I’m glad you’re okay! You haven’t seen Dave around, have you?”

You rolled your eyes. Of course. Dave, Dave, Dave. He was all Jade ever talked about. How _handsome_ and _cool_ and _funny_ he was. You’d never met the guy but if you did and the sun didn’t literally shine out of his ass you were going to be sorely disappointed. You would think it did, the way Jade went on about him.

“I don’t know him, Jade,” you reminded her, “even if I had seen him, I wouldn’t know it.”

“Oh, yeah,” she pouted. “You should meet him sometime, he’s the best. Thanks anyway!” she said, bounding back into the crowd.

And you were alone again. Shit. Back to plan A; finding somewhere quiet.

You continued to slink around the crowd, occasionally having to squeeze past couples making out against the wall. You were seriously wondering how fucking big the damn house was when you came across a staircase. As far as you could tell it seemed quieter upstairs, so you decided fuck it. May as well check it out.

You climbed the stairs, ignoring yet more couples sucking face. When you reached the top you found that it was much less crowded than it was downstairs. There were still too many people in the hall for your liking, so you walked along, pressing your ear to each closed door, hoping to find an unoccupied room. The first three obviously had people fucking in them but the last one sounded blessedly empty.

You swung the door open and quickly closed it behind you. The noise of the party was immediately cut in half and you breathed a sigh of relief. You pressed you back against the door and closed your eyes, reveling in finally being alone.

“Uh… hi,” you heard from inside the room.

Your eyes flew open and you looked up in shock. You could have sworn the room was empty.

You were clearly mistaken though. In the dim light of the room, you could just make out a young man sitting on a bed in the corner of the room. He was cross-legged and had a pastel pink DS in his hands. He was wearing sunglasses for some reason, which you thought was odd.

“Hi…” you said awkwardly. “Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

He shrugged, “It’s okay. You look like you need a breather so I’m not about to kick you on your ass or anything.”

“Thanks?” you said.

“No problem,” he replied, going back to his DS. “So what are you hiding from?”

“What?”

“What are you hiding from? You looked pretty relieved to be alone so I’m guessing you were glad to get away from something. You don’t have to tell me or whatever, I’m just curious.”

You slid down the door until you were sitting against it. You figured you may as well make conversation if you were going to be hiding out with him for the foreseeable future. “I’m just hiding from the party in general. This whole thing isn’t really my scene.”

“I feel that,” he said. “Shit can be pretty overwhelming.”

“Yeah…” you said. “So what are _you_ hiding from?”

The corner of his mouth turned up in a tiny smile, “Stuff.”

“Alright, don’t tell me,” you said rolling your eyes.

He huffed a laugh and said, “It’s just complicated is all,” with a shrug.

“Mhm,” you hummed, unconvinced.

“It is! It’s hella complicated. You could make this shit into and eight-part Netflix special it’s so convoluted. Lots of twists and turns and predictable drama. Not the kind of thing you can sum up in a couple of sentences.”

“Mhm.”

“Fine, believe what you want. I at least know it’s the truth.”

“Mmmhm.”

He breathed another laugh, “You’re not going to trick me into spilling my guts with your ‘mhm’s.”

You raised an eyebrow him, “That’s what you think.”

He shook his head with a grin, “Nope. I won’t do it. Now it’s just the principle of the thing. I might have told you before, but now I can’t. I refuse to give in to the ‘mhm’s.”

“Mhm.”

He laughed, “You’re such a little shit. So what’s your name, mysterious mhm-er?”

“Karkat,” you said.

‘Oh, I’ve heard about you. We have a lot of mutual friends. I’m Dave, by the way.”

“Strider?”

“Yep,” he said popping the P.

“Jade’s looking for you.”

“Yeah,” he said, looking almost guilty. “I know.”

You raised an eyebrow at that.

“It’s complicated,” he said with a sheepish smile.

You nodded. So Dave was hiding from Jade. You wondered why.

“Hey, what’s that?” he asked.

“What’s what?”

Dave looked around the room, “It’s a bird, it’s a plane- no, it’s a flying subject change! What’s your favourite colour?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Really? Is that the best you’ve got?”

“Yep. Favourite colour, what is it?”

You rolled your eyes, “Black.”

“Black?” he said incredulously. “Okay, edgelord.”

“Oh, I’m the edgiest lord you’ll ever meet,” you said flatly.

He scoffed, “I don’t know about that, you have some pretty stiff competition. Have you met Rose?”

You shrugged, “I could take her.”

“In what? An edge off?” 

“Yeah,” you said like it was obvious. “Don’t you know about the time-honoured tradition of edge offs?”

“Oh, I’m familiar,” he said with a smirk. “Rose _is_ my sister after all.”

“Is she?” you said. You didn’t know that. In hindsight they did look extremely similar.

“Yeah, man, we’re twins. Womb to the tomb. This actually used to be my room, but I moved out a couple of months ago. It’s super weird to see it without any of my shit. Now it’s just a generic guest room. Like, it’s my room but it’s not _my_ room, you know?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I can’t even imagine growing up in a place like this.”

“It was definitely something,” he said.

“So is twin telepathy a thing or is it bullshit?” you asked.

He shrugged, “Don’t know, if it is then it’s a one-way connection. She can always read my mind, but I can’t read hers for shit. She’s unpredictable as fuck.”

“So, you can’t feel each other’s pain, or whatever?”

“Nope. There’s no way she would have punched me in the balls as much as she did when we were kids if we could.”

You let out a surprised laugh, “Well, what did you do to deserve it?”

“Nothing!” he said, “She’s just psychotic. Don’t get me wrong, I love the shit out of her, she’s my best friend, but that bitch is crazy.”

“She is pretty intimidating,” you said.

“Fuck yeah she is,” he said, sounding almost proud.

“It’s pretty cool that you’re so close with your sister,” you said. “I can’t fucking stand my brother, he’s such a dick.”

He laughed breathily, “Yeah my brother’s a bit of a dick too.”

“I bet mine’s worse,” you said.

He shrugged, “That’s definitely possible. My brother usually doesn’t mean to be a dick, he just kinda stumbles into it. He’s super awkward and acts like a douche as a sort of defense mechanism.”

“Mine is just… the worst. The actual fucking worst. He’s so fucking judgemental. No matter what I do he always has something to say about it. Everything turns into a lecture.”

“Yikes,” he said sympathetically. “Sounds rough.”

“Oh, it is,” you groaned. “He moved out a little while ago though, so thank fuck for that. He seems to think he’s my dad. I’m _so_ glad he’s not. Not that my actual dad is any better.”

“Can relate,” he said flatly. “My dad was such a fucking asshole.”

“‘Was?’” you asked hesitantly. You didn’t want to bring up a sore subject, but you were curious.

“He’s not dead or anything,” he said, “just dead to me. Haven’t seen or spoken to him since I was thirteen.”

“I’m sorry,” you said awkwardly.

“Meh, its fine,” he shrugged. “Good fucking riddance if you ask me.”

“Yeah,” you said quietly.

You didn’t know where to go from there. You were surprised to find that Jade wasn’t wrong about him. He really _was_ handsome, cool and funny. You could see why she had such a big crush on him.

“You wanna come over here?” he asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“What?”

“I mean,” he said, seeming shy, “You’re more than welcome to stay there, but my bed is a little more comfortable than the floor, so…” he shrugged.

You thought about it for a moment before deciding screw it. Your ass was sore from sitting on the floor for so long, and Dave had been surprisingly good company.

You got up and walked over to him. “Scoot,” you said, waving him aside with a hand.

The corner of his mouth turned up in another little half smile and he moved over to make room for you.

You sat down beside him and put your now empty cup on the nightstand. You looked down at the DS in his hands and saw that he was playing a Pokemon game. He was battling with a level 87 shuckle named Fuckle. You rolled your eyes.

“My favourite colour is red, by the way,” he said suddenly.

“What?” you asked, looking over at him.

“My favourite colour, its red,” he said again. “I asked you yours and you never asked me back- rude, by the way- so yeah. Red.”

You rolled your eyes again, “Good to know. Red’s a pretty basic bitch favourite colour though.”

He scoffed, “ _Rude._ Red’s great. It a common favourite colour because it’s the best colour.”

“Yeah, okay,” you said sarcastically. “I don’t like red.”

He shook his head and said, “Blasphemous,” almost too quietly to hear.

“It reminds me of blood and blood makes me super squeamish,” you clarified.

“Ah,” he said in understanding. “I get that. I really hate blood too.”

“Shit’s gross,” you said in agreement.

“That it is,” he replied.

You both lapsed into comfortable moment of silence. You watched him play, impressed that he was actually managing to win battles with a fucking _shuckle_.

He turned his head to look at you suddenly and you mirrored his action. He seemed to be studying your face, so you took the time to do the same.

He was cute from afar, but up close he really was quite striking. His hair looked soft and fluffy, and you had to fight the urge to touch it. Across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose was a cute speckling of freckles and he had a thin white scar above his lip. As soon as you took notice of his lips you had to tear your eyes away from them. They looked so soft and you wondered what they would feel like against yours. You felt almost guilty for finding him as attractive as you did.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked in a shy whisper.

You stared at him, dumbfounded. You weren’t expecting that.

“You don’t have too, of course,” he said hurriedly, his cheeks darkening with a blush.

“No, it’s okay,” you said, your face heating up to match, “you can.”

He gave you a small smile before bringing a gentle hand to your cheek and leaning in for a soft, chaste kiss.

You smiled into it. He was so unexpectedly sweet.

He pulled back and touched his forehead to yours. Your smile widened and you heart gave a little squeeze of affection. You placed one of your own hands on his cheeks and pulled him back in for another, longer kiss.

His lips were soft, warm, and clearly experienced. You yourself hadn’t kissed many people in your life, so you decided to follow his lead. When he pressed forward, deepening the kiss, you happily reciprocated.

You rubbed your thumb along his cheek, enjoying the scratchy feeling of his five o’clock shadow. His hand slowly slid down from your face to your waist. He ran his fingers along your side, playing with the fabric of your sweater. You didn’t want to push him anywhere he didn’t want to go, but you were tempted to pull off your shirt and feel his hands on your skin.

He licked the seam of your lips and you gladly parted them for him. His mouth tasted like mint and cigarettes, but you didn’t mind.

His tongue tickled the roof of your mouth and you gasped at the feeling. No one had ever done that before and you were shocked by how good it felt. You had no idea kissing could feel like that.

The longer the kiss went on, the more you wanted him. You knew it was a bad idea, Jade was in love with him for fucks sake, but you wanted things to escalate. He seemed to feel the same way, if his hand sliding up your shirt was any indication.

You sent a silent apology to Jade and threw your leg over Dave’s, seating yourself in his lap. He hummed happily against your lips and slid his hand from your back to your hip, caressing it. You could feel your pulse between your legs, and you were shocked by how badly you wanted him.

Dave moved from your lips to your neck, gently nibbling on the skin there. You quietly keened at the feeling. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t hold yourself back any longer. You grabbed his hand and slipped it into your pants, desperately needing to be touched.

“Holy shit, you’re wet,” he sighed.

“Here,” you said breathlessly, guiding his fingers to your clit. You pressed down on them, showing him what to do. You moved your fingers in circles against his, encouraging him to mimic your actions. He was a quick study and figured out your preferred stroke pattern and pressure without much help.

You were about to remove your hand from his when he said, “No, keep it there. Use me.” You blushed and kept your hand where it was.

You pushed your embarrassment aside and let yourself enjoy his hand on you. The way his touch was gentle yet firm and how his skin felt so much warmer than yours. He had such nice hands, big with prominent knuckles and long calloused fingers.

As the pleasure rose your capacity to feel shame lowered. Your hips twitched forwards, chasing the feeling of his fingers on you. With every little circle he rubbed into your clit the intensity of his touch doubled. Your heart rate soared, and your breaths came in short, quick bursts.

You felt Dave lips return your neck, dotting it with gentle kisses. You tilted your head, giving him more room. Every kiss drove your arousal higher; they were featherlight and teasing, and you hoped he’d never stop.

You steered his hand to change its rhythm from circles to vertical rubs. You canted your hips, grinding your crotch against his fingers. You were growing more desperate, needing more with every pass. You guided his hand down so that the tips of his fingers just barely slipped inside of you.

“Fuck,” he sighed against your neck.

You smiled and gently pushed his hand further down. With every move, his fingers dipped inside a little deeper. His hands were so much bigger than yours making the times you fingered yourself pale in comparison. Before long, his palm was pressed against your clit and two of his fingers were fully inside of you.

“Crook your fingers,” you sighed. “Like this,” you said, showing him with your free hand.

He did was he was told and curled his fingers, pressing the tips against your g-spot. You sighed a breathy moan as you continued to grind into his hand. He tapped out a quick, steady rhythm inside you, making you legs twitch with sharp jolts of pleasure. Every time you moved his palm dragged against your clit and his fingers stroked inside of you. You loved it, it felt so good, but you realized that you weren’t reciprocating.

Despite the awkward position, you placed your free hand on his crotch, palming him. He was hard as a rock and straining against the front of his pants. Wanting to feel him you slipped your hand beneath his waistband and freed his cock.

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned. 

You smiled at the desperation in his tone and wrapped your hand firmly around him. Though you couldn’t see it you could feel that he was thick and uncut. You stroked down his full length, from head to base and his hips pushed up against your hand.

His breaths were hard and fast against your neck and you could feel how badly he had been wanting this. Making up for lost time, you pumped him quickly with a tight fist.

He squirmed beneath you and quietly moaned into your neck. “Fuck,” he sighed, his voice sounding strained, “Jesus Christ.”

The pleasure of Dave’s hand on and inside you, coupled with the delicious sounds he was making was making you desperate for more. All you wanted was to feel him inside of you. You wanted him to fuck you so fucking badly.

“I want you,” you whined. “I need you inside me.”

“Yeah,” he said breathlessly, “fuck yeah.”

He slid down the bed and laid back with his head on the pillow. You knelt above him and pulled off your pants, leaving you naked from the waist down. He quickly pushed his own pants down around his thighs and kicked them the rest of the way off. You leaned over him and pulled his shades off before placing them on the nightstand.

His eyes were a warm, rich brown in the low light of the room, and you wondered why he would hide them. They were deep, striking, and full of lust.

He raised an eyebrow at you and gently pulled you towards him by your hips. You gave him a smile and took his hint. You raised yourself above him and took his cock in your hand, leading it to your entrance.

You slowly lowered yourself onto him, pushing him inside of you one inch at a time. Your eyes squeezed shut, loving the way he filled you. He was way bigger than you were used to, and you moaned the entire way down. You had to admit you were a bit of a size queen. Size king? Size monarch? Whatever, you liked big dicks, and Dave had one.

Once he was fully inside of you and you were sitting on his hips you had to take a moment breathe. You couldn’t believe how perfect he felt. The burn of him stretching you out was incredible and the way he pressed against your cervix was so good you could scream.

You opened your eyes and saw Dave looking up at you, his mouth open and his eyes hazy. “Holy shit.”

You smiled and slowly lifted yourself off of him before sinking back down. It felt even better than you hoped it would. It almost hurt how big he was, but it was translated directly into pleasure. You loved it; it was like he could barely fit inside you.

“You feel so fucking good,” you sighed. 

He laughed breathlessly, “Right back at you.”

You rolled your hips, grinding against him. Even the slightest movement of Dave inside of you felt incredible. Your rhythm slowly sped up, from gentle rocking to hard, desperate thrusts. Dave met your every move, raising his hips as you lowered yours, fucking you from below.

You fell forwards, holding yourself up on you elbows. Taking advantage of your new position, Dave leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. He slid his hands up from your hips to your back, holding you against him. He kissed you feverishly, moaning against your lips.

You slipped one hand between your bodies and rubbed your clit in quick, hard circles. The added pleasure was blinding.

You licked into his mouth and dragged your teeth along his lip, drawing low moans out of him. You couldn’t help but moan back in answer. You loved every sound made, from his low moans to his gasping sighs.

You opened your eyes and saw his squeezed shut. His mouth was held open as he panted and sighed. You clenched around him, painfully turned on by how much he was enjoying himself. Enjoying you. He moaned in response and you tightened around him again, needing to hear him do that again. The more he gasped and moaned the closer you got. You wanted nothing more than to come. You wanted him to come too though.

The thought of him coming inside you sent an unexpected thrill through you. You were too far gone to think about consequences, all you wanted was to feel yourself being filled with his cum. You wanted to feel him bury himself inside you, to feel him shake apart beneath you. You determined that you weren’t going to be able to come yourself until he did.

“Fuck,” he sighed, “Jesus fucking Christ, dude. You’re incredible, so fucking sexy. _Fuck_ , I’m close, I’m so fucking clo-” he cut himself off with a groan.

“Come inside me,” you moaned.

He nodded and pressed his face into the crook of your neck. You felt his hot, panting breaths and his muscles flex as he neared the edge. After a few more hard thrusts he groaned, “I’m gonna come,” his voice tight. “Oh, fuck, I’m gonna come-“

He pushed himself as deeply inside of you as he could, and his hips stilled. He released a broken moan and bit down on your shoulder to muffle it. And with that you were gone.

Every muscle in your body clenched and you mouth fell open in a euphoric scream. You felt so good your scream turned into relieved laughter. Your entire body shook with shocks of pleasure as you rode out your orgasm.

You collapse on top of Dave and nuzzled your face into his neck, still giggling.

“What’s so funny?” he mumbled.

“Mmm,” you hummed. “That was fun,” you said, lifting your head to give him a kiss on the cheek.

He chuckled, “It was. 10/10, would ride you over a rollercoaster any day.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t supress your smile. He was such a dork.

You ran your fingers through his hair, enjoying how soft it was. You were so comfortable, and sleep was threating to take you, but you knew it would be a bad idea to let yourself doze off.

Dave rolled you onto your side and wrapped himself around you, touching his forehead to yours. You smiled and ran your fingers up and down his back, enjoying the softness of his skin.

You laid together, enjoying a couple happy, lazy moments. You held each other in comfortable silence, simply basking in each other’s company.

You were broken out of the moment by your phone buzzing in your pants’ pocket. You groaned and ignored it, snuggling into Dave’s chest. When your phone continued to buzz persistently you reluctantly pulled yourself from Dave arms.

You stretched down to where your pants had been thrown and pulled out your phone. You curled back up against Dave and unlocked it.

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 00:24 --

GA: It’s Time To Go

GA: I’m Sorry About Earlier, I Didn’t Intend To Leave You Alone Like That

GA: I Hope You Managed To Have A Good Time Regardless

GA: Or A Not Terrible Time At Least

GA: Karkat?

GA: …

GA: I’m Going To The Car, Please Meet Me There

CG: I WILL, SORRY.

CG: I’M ON MY WAY.

GA: Excellent, See You Soon

\-- grimAuxiliatrx [GA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 00:32 --

You sighed, “I have to go.”

“Oh,” Dave said. “Yeah totally, no problem. Um… how do you want to do this?”

“Uh,” you said, looking around. You spotted a box of Kleenexes on the night and pointed to them, “Can you grab those?”

Dave looked over his shoulder at them and said, “Maybe?”

He stretched his arm out behind himself, towards them, and just barely managed to slide them over. He grabbed a handful and pressed them to your crotch before sliding out.

As soon has his dick was out of you, you felt his cum pour out of you. It was a strange feeling. It was physically uncomfortable, but mentally hot as fuck. You decided you liked it. It was weirdly validating, having proof that a cute boy fucked you and liked it all over your thighs.

You wiped the cum off of yourself and took the Kleenexes from Dave. You tossed them in the garbage and started to get dressed.

“We should do that again sometime,” he said, watching you from where he laid in bed.

You smiled, “Yeah. We should.”

He smiled back at you and held out his hand to you. “Gimme,” he said, making grabby hands at you.

You unlocked your phone and handed it to him, assuming that was what he wanted. He tapped away on it and said, “I’m giving you my handle, by the way. We should keep in touch. You’re cool.”

You smiled and took your phone when he passed it back to you. You checked out your newest contact; turntechGodhead. What a cringy handle.

As if reading your mind, he sheepishly said, “I made it when I was thirteen. I never got around to changing it.”

“I can relate,” you said. “Mine is carcinoGeneticist. I made it when I was twelve.”

“Two peas in a cringey, pubetic pod, we are,” he said with a grin.

“Yeah,” you said, returning his smile. “Um… I should go.”

He nodded, “Guess so.”

You leaned over to him, pressing your lips to his in a soft, parting kiss.

“Bye,” you said quietly.

“Bye,” he repeated, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You smiled and held his hand to your cheek for a moment before standing up straight and leaving the room.


	2. Chapter 2

You were sitting across from Kanaya at her kitchen table, sipping tea and catching up on the latest gossip. Who broke up, who got together, who was fucking who. No one knew as much about other people’s business as Kanaya, the nosy broad.

“Have you heard about what’s been going on with Feferi?” she asked over the rim up her cup. “It’s quite salacious.”

“I can’t say I have. What’s she been up to?” you asked, checking to see who had texted you.

Your phone buzzed against the table and you slid it over to you. You didn’t want to be rude, but you figured Kanaya would excuse a peek at your phone.

turntechGodhead. You thought so. Dave was one chatty bitch. Ever since he had gotten your handle, he’d texted you almost constantly. The things he sent were almost always nonsensical and ridiculous, but they never failed to make you laugh.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 13:21 --

TG: hey dude

TG: you know what i keep thinking about

TG: the dude at pompeii who died while jacking it

TG: wait do you know about that

CG: NO?

CG: WHAT THE FUCK?

“Well,” Kanaya said, placing her cup back on its saucer, “do you remember all the drama that went on between Feferi and Eridan in the past?”

“Of course. How could I ever forget about that clusterfuck?”

“It’s gotten worse.”

“How is that even possible?”

Your phone buzzed persistently in your hand with Dave’s onslaught of messages, but didn’t want to keep checking it. Kanaya was a stickler for being polite and you didn’t want to risk annoying her. There were very few people you had a problem with pissing off, but Kanaya was definitely one of them.

“Sollux has entered the picture,” she said. “Feferi has started spending an awful lot of time with him and they seem to be well on their way to a romantic relationship. Eridan is predictably upset about this as he still hasn’t gotten over her. It’s incredibly pathetic in my opinion.”

“Everything about Eridan is pathetic,” you said with an eye roll.

She chuckled, “I wholeheartedly agree.”

“Wait,” you said, “I thought Sollux was dating Aradia?”

“He is,” she said. “He’s poly. Didn’t you know?”

“No, I didn’t. I guess it makes sense though, he is obsessed with twos after all.”

“Aradia is poly as well. They’ve had other partners before, but they are currently only dating each other.”

“Huh. I’m going to have to update my shipping charts,” you said sarcastically. Your hand was going numb from the vibration of your phone and you finally broke. “I’m sorry, but do you mind if I respond to this? My phone has been buzzing like crazy.”

“Oh, not at all,” she said.

TG: oh man you are missing out

TG: its actually super interesting

TG: so like

TG: pompeii was covered in hella ash

TG: like 8 feet of ash

TG: and this dude realized that the bodies of the people who died left people shaped holes in the ash so he filled them with paster and then removed the ash

TG: so now there are these crazy paster casts of the people who died in the positions they died in

TG: which brings us to jo dude

TG: so like

TG: he was defo jerking it when he died

TG: like his dick is in his hand

TG: and i keep thinking like

TG: that’s how hes remembered

TG: like hes famous post mortem for fondling his naughty bits at the worst possible time

TG: its been making me feel pretty existential about death and how ill be remembered and shit

TG: but mostly i just cant stop laughing because of the story i made up about it

TG: like in my head he was this super pious conservative dude who believed that masturbation was a sin or whatever so he never touched his bits

TG: like ever

TG: until that day

TG: he was just like

TG: you know what fuck it

TG: im just going to do it

TG: just this once

TG: so he starts jerking it and hes like shit dude this is great

TG: and then the sky goes black and theres this massive boom as vesuvius just fucking explodes and the air is filled with ash

TG: and i cant stop picturing his face

TG: just looking out the window in horror with his dick in his hand

TG: and im probably going to hell for laughing but fuck its funny

CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

TG: oh hey

TG: i thought it was pretty obvious

TG: im talking about the guy at pompeii who died while beating his meat

TG: choking the chicken

TG: making the bald man cry

TG: jerkin the gherkin

TG: playing a little five on one

TG: spanking the monkey

CG: OKAY, OKAY, JESUS I GET IT.

TG: okay cool

“Who is it?” Kanaya asked.

“Dave.”

“Dave? I didn’t know you two talk.”

You shrugged, “We met at Rose’s party.”

“Hm.”

You looked up from your phone, “‘Hm’? What does ‘hm’ mean? You sound like a disapproving mother.”

“Well…” She said, looking away from you guiltily and taking a sip of tea. “I suppose I have… thoughts.”

“Thoughts? Wow, that’s not vague at all, thanks Kanaya.”

She huffed a sigh and said, “I just don’t know if I would advise letting yourself get too close to him. At least not in a romantic sense.”

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“He has a bit of a… reputation.”

“I’m going to need a little more than that.”

“Well, let’s just say he isn’t exactly known for his commitment. As far as I know he has never been in a relationship. Not to say he is a particularly conservative individual, quite the contrary. He is quite loose… sexually.”

“In English, please.”

“He doesn’t date, and he sleeps around. Nothing good will come from catching feelings for him,” she said bluntly.

“Oh,” you said.

It was a little late for that. You really liked Dave, and you thought he liked you too. Now you could see that you were just a stupid fly that had wandered into a spider’s web and he had just taken advantage of the situation. You were naïve, thinking you were somehow _special_ , that he’d made an exception for you. That he liked _you_ specifically _._ You were embarrassed and hurt, but you had no one to blame but yourself. You should have known better.

Your phone continued to buzz in your hand, but you elected to turn it off. You weren’t in the mood to keep talking to Dave.

“Karkat?” Kanaya asked gently. “Are you alright?”

“What?” you said, focusing back on her. “Oh, yeah, no, I’m fine. I was just thinking.”

“Hm,” she hummed, obviously concerned.

“So, what’s been going on with you and Rose?” you asked, desperately wanting to change the subject.

She sighed and rested her cheek in her hand. “Things have been more complicated than I had anticipated. I had foolishly assumed it would be smooth sailing after I have confessed my feelings to her, but it has not been. It has been quite bumpy sailing, in fact. Her drinking is more of an issue than I thought it was. It has been… difficult. I care about her deeply though and refuse to give up on her so easily. I intend to help her through this.”

“That’s very noble of you.”

“I wouldn’t call it noble, it just feels like the right thing to do.”

“That’s like the definition of noble.”

-

Later that night, when you were back at home and curled up in bed, you thought back to what Kanaya had said about Dave. You really, _really_ liked Dave, but you were afraid you weren’t on the same page. All this time you had thought that you were on your way to a relationship with him, but he apparently didn’t ‘do’ relationships. You were nothing more than someone to fuck.

Part of you kept insisting that no, you were different, he had to like you, he wouldn’t have kept talking to you if he didn’t, but you refused to entertain it. You knew that there was nothing but pain at the end of the way of thinking.

You didn’t want to lose a friend because you went and got a crush. Not again. More than that though, you didn’t want to hurt yourself like that again. You had to get over your crush on him, even if that meant stopping talking to him.

The thought of cutting off contact with Dave hurt more than you were expecting it to. It seemed you had already gotten unreasonably attached to him. It had only been two weeks since you met the guy and did… stuff together.

Your brow furrowed as you did some mental math. Deciding ‘fuck math’ you pulled out your phone and opened the app you used to track your period. With a jolt you realized you were a week late. You were never late.

You threw your covers aside and bolted out of bed and grabbed your wallet. Not even bothering to change out of your pyjamas you sped out of your room and slipped on your shoes.

“Where are you going in such a rush?” your dad asked from the couch.

“None of your damn business,” you said at the same time as your dad. You gave him the finger and left the house.

You speed-walked to the dollar store nearby, making the usual ten-minute walk in only five. You flew through the isles like a bat out of hell, scouring the shelves for what you were looking for. When you finally found it, you grabbed three and made your way to the counter. The girl checking you out gave you a sympathetic look and said, “Good luck.” You didn’t know what to say to that, so you just nodded and grabbed your bag.

You made it back to your house in record time and immediately headed to the bathroom. You pulled out a box and ripped it open with shaky hands. Inside was a little plastic wrapped stick, which you opened and stared at with your heart in your throat. Before you could psyche yourself out any more than you already had you pulled yourself together and took the test.

You managed to piss on your hand like a fucking barbarian and you grimaced. You capped the piss-soaked end of the test and put in on the counter while you washed your hands.

The next five minutes were the longest of your life. You kept checking the clock on your phone every ten seconds, feeling like it had to be time to check already. The second five minutes were up you snatched up the test and your heart plummeted.

Two lines. That meant positive, didn’t it? No, no, that couldn’t be right You checked the box and saw that yes, two lines did in fact mean positive. You were pregnant. Fuck.

You sank down to the floor, staring at the stupid little stick in shock. What the fuck were you going to do? You couldn’t have a kid; you _were_ a kid. You were still in school. You still lived with your dad.

Oh, fuck. Your dad. He was going to kill you when he found out. He already thought you were an irresponsible brat, this was just the final nail in your coffin.

You could just get an abortion though, right? That would be the smart thing to do. So why did it make your heart hurt to think about? Oh hell no. You weren’t going to get attached. That would be so unimaginably dumb. You would just get rid of it, even if the thought of it made your stomach drop. You _had_ to.

Despite yourself you lightly laid your hands on your belly. You shouldn’t encourage this; you shouldn’t even humour the _idea_ of keeping it. But fuck, you kind of wanted it. You couldn’t help but picture it, round cheeks and soft skin, chubby little hands and feet. You wondered who it would resemble more; you or Dave?

Oh, shit, you hadn’t even thought about Dave. How the fuck were you supposed to tell him? ‘Hey, Dave! Remember when I jumped your bones and practically begged you to come inside me? Well guess what! I’m pregnant! Surprise! I definitely didn’t mean for that to happen even though it totally seems like I did!’ God, you were stupid.

And you had just decided to get over him, even if the meant never speaking to him again! Fuck, you were stupid. How could you let this happen? How could you let yourself get knocked up by a guy you had only met twenty minutes before? God, you really fucked up this time.

You had to get rid of it. You had to. It didn’t matter that just thinking about it made you want to cry, you had no choice. If you kept it your life would be ruined. Your dad would kick you on your ass and it’s not like Dave would want anything to do with you _or_ the kid.

Your heart was pounding, and your throat was tight. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want to have to give up your baby, it wasn’t fair. It felt cruel, like you had been given something but weren’t allowed to keep it. It made you angry. It wasn’t _fair._

Why couldn’t things ever work out for you? Why couldn’t anything ever go _well?_ Why did it always have to hurt? Why couldn’t you have this, just this? It was all you wanted.

A part of you said fuck it, fuck the universe and the games it played with you, you were going to do things your way, you weren’t going to let it ruin this, but you knew it was ultimately futile. Things didn’t work out for you, they never did. You could fight it all you wanted but it would always win. Something would always go wrong.

Your heart wanted to take that chance, but your brain told you no. They were warring within you, tearing you apart. But in the end your heart won. It always did.


	3. Chapter 3

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 14:23 --

GA: Hello Karkat

GA: I Hope You Are Doing Well

GA: How Have You Been?

GA: …

GA: I Typed Three Consecutive Dots To Indicate My Anticipation For A Response

GA: Please Respond Karkat

GA: I’m Worried About You

GA: It Has Been Over A Week Since I Heard From You Last

\-- carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 14:47 --

GA: o:

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 17:36 --

GC: H3Y BUTTMUNCH, 1T’S BEEN 4 WH1L3

GC: WH4T’S UP?

GC: …

GC: OH G33Z K4N4Y4 W4SN’T K1DD1NG, YOU R34LLY 4R3N’T R3SPOND1NG

GC: NOT 3V3N TO M3?

GC: BUMM3R

GC: L3T M3 KNOW WH3N YOU’R3 DON3 MOP1NG OR WH4T3V3R

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 17:58 --

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 10: 12 --

TT: Good morning, Karkat.

TT: It has come to my attention that you have become something of a recluse.

TT: Though we are not particularly close, I thought I would at least send you a message to let you know that I do care and am concerned for your well being.

TT: Also to let you know that both Kanaya and Dave are very worried about you.

TT: Though we may not be close, I am close with both of them.

TT: I would appreciate it if you would send them each a message letting them know that you are well.

TT: If you are in fact well that is.

TT: Hopefully you are.

TT: That is all.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 10:24 --

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 16: 05 --

EB: karkaaaaaaaat

EB: where are yoooooooou?????

EB: we miss you dude

EB: have you fallen off the edge of the earth???

EB: or gotten abducted by aliens???

EB: or are you a spy and your cover has been blown so now you have to go into hiding???

EB: whatever it is hurry up and get back!

EB: its boring with out you around to yell at people

\-- ectoBiologist ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist at 16:13

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 15:31

GG: Karkat!!

GG: I miss you!!

GG: Where are you?

GG: :(

GG: Sigh

GG: Text me when you feel better okay?

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 15:55

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGenticist [CG] at 11:03 --

TG: hey dude whats up

TG: oh man that’s cool

TG: me?

TG: im good

TG: yeah i got a really good grade on an assignment recently which im pretty proud of

TG: aw thanks man thats really nice of you to say

TG: oh im just sitting around listening to music

TG: do you see whats wrong with this conversation?

TG: it seems a little off

TG: doesnt it

TG: its a bit one sided huh

TG: yeah i think so too

TG: sure would be cool if you would contribute a bit more

TG: which is to say at all

TG: look man if you dont want to talk to me anymore thats fine

TG: but could you at least tell people youre okay

TG: kanaya and jade are worried sick about you

TG: theyre seriously considering showing up at your house just to make sure youre alive

TG: theyre that worried

TG: so if you are alive you should really say something to them

TG: i get ghosting me

TG: thats fine you dont have to talk to me if you dont want to

TG: but at least text the others

TG: seriously

TG: its not okay

You stared at your phone with a guilty pit in your stomach. You knew you should talk to them, you knew it wasn’t okay, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You were just too embarrassed.

You didn’t know how to talk to them without bringing up the fact that you were pregnant. You were afraid you would blurt it out and then everyone would know. You didn’t want that. You knew you couldn’t keep it a secret forever, but you wished you could.

Whenever you pictured telling your friends that you got knocked up from a one-night stand with a mutual friend it made you want to curl up in a ball and die. Especially when you thought about telling Jade, oh god. You were _dreading_ that conversation. She would never forgive you.

So, you avoided them. You didn’t text and you were careful not to cross their paths when you went out. It was a fucking hassle, but it was better than the alternative.

You figured you should at least tell Dave though. Yet another conversation you were dreading. He wasn’t going to want anything to do with you once you told him and you weren’t sure you could handle that kind of rejection. He wouldn’t just be rejecting you after all, he would be rejecting your baby too. You wanted better for your kid than that. At least when Dave didn’t know you could pretend that everything would be okay and that he wouldn’t abandon the two of you the second you told him.

You had to at least give him the chance to prove you wrong though.

CG: YOU’RE RIGHT.

CG: IT IS FUCKED UP OF ME.

TG: oh

TG: hey

CG: HEY.

CG: I’LL TEXT THEM.

TG: oh

TG: cool

TG: thats good

CG: YEAH.

TG: so what was with the silent treatment

CG: IT’S COMPLICATED.

TG: using my own excuse against me i see

CG: I DON’T MEAN FOR IT TO BE AN EXCUSE.

CG: IT REALLY IS COMPLICATED.

CG: I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S GOING ON, BUT CAN WE DO IT IN PERSON?

TG: oh

TG: sure man

TG: it seems serious

CG: IT IS.

TG: oh shit

TG: okay

TG: im free now if youre interested

CG: YEAH, NOW WORKS.

CG: CAN YOU MEET ME AT THAT SANDWICH PLACE JOHN NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP ABOUT IN HALF AN HOUR?

TG: yeah man of course

TG: see you then?

CG: YEAH.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 11:42 --


	4. Chapter 4

You sat at a table at the back of a small mom and pop sandwich shop, anxiously picking at your fingers and bouncing your knee as you waited. Why did you have to ask to meet in half an hour? You weren’t ready for this. You had no fucking clue how you were going to tell Dave. You were going to fuck it up, you had no idea how, but you knew you would.

You watched the clock like a hawk, your anxiety growing with every minute that passed. It was fine, you told yourself. All that was going to happen was you were going to have a brief conversation with Dave, he would leave, you would never see or hear from him again, and life would continue on. No big deal.

Exactly thirty minutes after your conversation with Dave ended, he entered the shop. Despite feeling so nervous you could puke you were impressed by how punctual he was. You wondered if he had been waiting outside or if his timing was just that good.

He walked towards you with his hands in his pockets and your heart leapt into your throat. This was it.

“Hey,” he said, sitting across from you.

“Hey.”

“So, what’s up?” he asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Um…” you said, fidgeting with a napkin. “That depends on your definition of ‘okay.’”

He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair with a worried expression, “What do you mean?”

“I mean whether I’m okay or not is subjective. It’s not exactly black and white.”

“Okay…” he said. “How about you tell me what’s up and I can decide for myself if it’s okay or not.”

“Yeah…” you said, tearing the napkin into tiny pieces. “So… um… you know how…we… um… uh…” you trailed off. “I mean… it’s just…fuck, um…”

Dave gave you a bemused grin and raised an eyebrow, “Come on, dude, you can do it. Use your words.”

“I’m pregnant,” you blurted out.

His eyebrows shot up above his shades and he stared at you for a second before saying, “Oh.”

“Yep.”

He stayed silent for a moment, seeming to mull things over. You couldn’t read him at all. You wished he wasn’t wearing those stupid fucking shades so you could have _some_ idea of what he was thinking at least. As it was though you had no fucking clue, and that just made your anxiety worse.

“So…” he said after a long moment, “is it mine?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

He folded his arms across his chest which rose and fell with quick, anxious breaths. His jaw was clenched, and he rolled one of his hoodie strings between his fingers. You couldn’t read his expression, the only clue you had was a furrow between his brows.

“Its fine if you don’t want it, Dave. I didn’t expect you to,” you said, your heart breaking at your words. You knew he wasn’t going to be happy, but seeing it hurt anyway.

“What?” he asked, seeming confused.

“You don’t have to be in the kid’s life. It’s fine. I can do it on my own,” you said, growing irritated.

“What?” he said again.

You let out a frustrated sigh, “If you don’t want it, that’s fine. You don’t have to, but I’m keeping it whether you like it or not.”

He stared at you and shook his head in disbelief. “No, no, no,” he said. “That’s not it, that’s not what I want.”

“Then what _do_ you want?” you asked, eager for the conversation to be over.

He took a deep steadying breath and swallowed nervously. He was silent for a moment before he said, “I want to be involved.”

“What?”

“I want to be a good dad,” he said, sounding anxious but resolute.

“You do?” you said. You hadn’t been prepared for that. Not at all.

“Yeah,” he said with a stiff nod. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to be in my kid’s life.”

You stared at him, bewildered. You felt strangely emotional. You had assumed your baby was going to have a similar life to yours; born to a father that never wanted them. A father who by all accounts should have never had children. Just because Dave _wanted_ to be a good dad didn’t necessarily mean he would _be_ one, but fuck, at least he wanted to try.

“Please, Karkat,” he said when you didn’t respond. There was an edge of desperation to his voice, like he was terrified you’d refuse him. He probably was.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “yeah, of course.”

He cracked a small, relieved smile before quickly covering it up. “So…” he said awkwardly.

“So,” you replied.

“So…” he repeated, “How have you been?”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Fine,” you said with a shrug.

“I mean like,” Dave said, making vague gestures with hands, looking uncomfortable, “any symptoms or whatever? Have you been feeling okay?”

“Oh,” you said, surprised. You didn’t expect him to really care about that. “In that case, I’ve been pretty fucking awful. I’ve been super nauseous and exhausted for weeks. And so fucking emotional.”

“I’m sorry,” he said sympathetically. “Is that why you became a hermit?”

You shrugged, “Part of why, yeah. But whatever, it is what it is. There’s not much I can do about it.”

“Hmm,” he said, looking concerned. “Have you told Kanaya? She might be able to help.”

“No,” you said. “You’re the only person I’ve told.”

“Hm,” he said again.

“I want to wait a while before I tell anyone else.”

“Why?”

You rested your cheek on your hand and shrugged a shoulder, “I don’t know how they’ll react.”

“You think they won’t be okay with it?”

“I don’t know,” you said. “That’s what worries me. I have a pretty good idea how some people will react, and it won’t be good. I don’t know about anyone else though.”

“Our friends will definitely be okay with it. They aren’t going to ditch you or whatever. You don’t have to worry about them,” he said. “Who are you worried about, though?”

“Jade,” you said. “And my dad.”

“Jade? Why Jade?”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? Isn’t it obvious?”

“Clearly not.”

You rolled your eyes, “She’s in love with you, idiot. When she finds out I went behind her back and fucked the guy she’s been obsessed with for years she’ll be devastated.”

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah, I can see how that could be a problem.”

“Yep,” you said, popping the P.

“What about your dad though? What do you think he’ll do?”

You shrugged, “Don’t know. All I know is it’s going to be bad.”

“How bad?” He asked, concern written all over him.

You took a moment to think about it, something you had been avoiding ever since you found out you were pregnant. You knew he would be furious, but what would he _do?_ Would he kick you out? Cut you off? You had no idea.

“I don’t know.”

“Hmm,” he said. Your answer clearly hadn’t calmed his worries. “When do you think you’ll tell him?”

You scoffed, “I’m not telling him until I can’t hide it anymore. If it was up to me, I’d never tell him, but that’s obviously not an option.”

“Would it help if I came with you?” he asked.

You stared at him in surprise. He would do that? Even though he knew it was going to be bad? Why?

“You know he’d be pissed at you, right?” you said in disbelief. “Like, furiously pissed.”

He shrugged, “Yeah, but if it’d help I would do it.”

“But it could be _really_ bad.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, “Yeah, so? I give a shit about you, we’re having a fucking kid together, dude. I got you into this mess and if there’s anything I can do to help you, I’m going to do it. Even if it sucks for me.”

You looked down and pushed the ripped up napkin pieces around to hide the tears in your eyes. Fuck, why were you crying? Because he gave a shit about you? Because he wanted to help you? Or was it because he was nice to you at a time when you desperately needed someone to be?

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said, waving a hand dismissively, “just pregnant. Everything makes me cry.”

He looked unconvinced. His brows were still scrunched up in worry and he was clenching his jaw in a way you were becoming to realized was a tell that he was trying to hide some kind of emotion.

“I’m fine, really,” you said. “I just… I don’t know. I really appreciate how nice you’ve been about this.”

“What,” he said dubiously, “did you expect me to _not_ want to help you?”

He said it so easily, like it was obvious. As if anyone would have acted the way he did. Did he not realize how uncommonly kind he was being?

“Yes,” you said.

“Hm,” he replied, as if he wasn’t expecting that.

“The only possibilities I was prepared for were for you to either want nothing to do with me or the kid, or you would try to talk me into an abortion. I never thought you’d be… nice.”

“Geez, I didn’t realize what a bastard I come across as,” he said, trying to cover up hurt with levity.

“Oh,” you said, feeling guilty. “Sorry, no, that wasn’t what I meant. It was nothing personal, I would have thought that about anyone. I mean… I got knocked up after a one-night stand, I didn’t think anyone would be particularly thrilled about that.”

“I get it,” he said. “And uh… sorry about that. Knocking you up, I mean.”

You shrugged, “It is what it is. And I can’t really blame you, I did ask you to come in me after all.” You sighed and shook your head at yourself, “I can’t believe how stupid I was.”

“We all do stupid shit when we’re horny,” he said.

“Yeah…”

“So,” he started before trailing off, “is there anything I can do for you? Anything I can help you with?”

“Uh… I don’t know? What kind of shit are you willing to do?”

He scoffed, “Anything, dude. Whatever you want. If you have a craving for Oreos at three AM just hit me up and I’ll drag my decrepit ass out of bed and get them for you ASAP. I’m serious,” he said when he saw your dubious expression. “Whatever you want, whenever you want it, just text me and I’ll do it.”

“Okay,” you said.

This wasn’t how you were expecting this conversation to go. You thought back to what Kanaya had said about Dave, how he didn’t do relationships or commitments and it made you wonder if he would really stick around. He said he wanted to be there for you and the baby, but would he really? What if he changed his mind after the baby was born? Having a kid was a pretty big commitment after all.

“You okay?” he asked.

“What?” you said, focusing back on him. The worried crease between his brows had returned and you wondered how long you had been lost in thought. “Yeah, no, I’m fine.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, clearly unconvinced.

You sighed, “Fine. I was just thinking about some… stuff I’ve heard about you is all.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Oh, you know,” you said, waving your hand dismissively, “stuff. Like… apparently you aren’t big on commitment and shit, and I was just wondering how that would play out with the whole ‘having a baby’ thing. Like… raising a baby takes commitment. Do you think you’re up for it?”

He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair with a flat expression. “I’m not going to abandon my own kid if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Okay, good,” you said.

“You really think I would do that?” he asked, not bothering to hide that he was hurt.

You shrugged defensively, “I don’t know! We don’t exactly know each other very well! I don’t think you would, based on what I’ve seen of you, but what I’ve heard from other people makes me worried!”

“Yeah, well contrary to popular belief I’m not actually a massive piece of shit. I don’t know who you’ve been talking to, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m aware that having a kid is a fucking commitment. I don’t even have a problem with commitment! Where did you even get that?”

Your shoulders drew up, feeling uncomfortable. You hadn’t wanted to upset him; in hindsight it was pretty obvious that it would though. You regretted bringing it up at all.

“Apparently you’ve never been in a relationship?” you said meekly.

“That’s not even accurate! I’ve been in relationships before, but even if I hadn’t, who that fuck cares? I’m twenty-three, not forty! Just because someone hasn’t dated doesn’t mean it’s because they have commitment issues. It wouldn’t mean they’re unfit to have children.”

“I know, I know, you’re right,” you said placatingly. “I’m sorry… I’m just afraid of having to do this alone.”

Dave deflated with a sigh, “No, I’m sorry. It’s understandable that you’d be worried about that. I’m just… sensitive about stuff like that, I guess.”

You nodded and looked back down at your ripped up napkin. You pushed around the pieces, lining them up in rows. You felt so awkward.

After an uncomfortably long moment of silence Dave finally said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten upset like that. I really am sorry, dude. It’s just… my dad was a piece of shit, and the thought of being anything like him gets to me.”

“I get it,” you said, shrugging a shoulder. You kept playing with your napkin, not wanting to look up at him.

He tentatively reached a hand across the table and hooked a finger around one of yours. Accepting his olive branch, you laced your fingers through his. He gave you an apologetic smile and your hand a little squeeze.

“We good?” he asked cautiously.

You returned his meek smile, “We’re good.”

“Cool,” he said. “So… _is_ there anything I can do for you?”

“Not that I can think of,” you said. “I’ll let you know though.”

“Please do. Um… I guess I should probably let you go then? You probably have shit to do that doesn’t involve entertaining an awkward jackass.”

“You’re not so bad,” you said with a little smile, “but yeah, I should probably go.”

“Yeah,” he said.

The two of you got up and made your way out of the shop. You didn’t make it very far before you had to part ways.

“Text me if you need anything,” he said. “Don’t be a stranger. Or a hermit.”

“I will,” you said. “To the first thing I mean, not the hermit thing. Yeah… um, thanks.”

“No problem,” he said, shuffling awkwardly.

Before you could turn to leave, he scooped you into an awkward hug. And just as quickly as it happened, it ended.

“Okay, bye,” he said, scurrying away.

“Bye,” you said a couple seconds late.

What a fucking dork.


	5. Chapter 5

You were absolutely fucking miserable. For three days in a row your morning had started with you bolting out of bed and sprinting to the bathroom with a hand clamped over your mouth. You threw up at least twice a day and you were getting really fucking tired of it. You were really fucking tired in general.

For weeks no matter how much sleep you got it was never enough. Your eyes burned constantly, and you could barely think. It was a bone deep exhaustion you had never experienced before, and you were already a fucking insomniac. It was as if just existing was hard work. Your mind was sluggish, your body felt heavy, and no amount of sleep changed that. And in addition to feeling like garbage physically, you also felt awful emotionally.

You were angry for no reason all the time and felt like you could cry at the drop of a hat. You would snap at your friends when they didn’t deserve it and were then immediately be consumed by guilt. You knew to expect mood swings, but you didn’t know they’d be so intense.

You had known what the symptoms of pregnancy were, everyone did, but you had no idea how bad they would be. Dragging your decrepit carcass to class was a herculean task and paying attention was nearly impossible. You were absolutely miserable and not even thinking about how you’d have your baby at the end of all this made you feel better. You loved your baby, but fuck, it was killing you.

It had been a particularly bad day. It wasn’t even noon and you had already thrown up twice, cried once, and passed out for an unintentional nap.

You had been forcing yourself to go to class regardless of how bad you felt, but fuck. You couldn’t do it today, you just couldn’t. You could barely drag yourself out of bed to piss and puke, let alone go to school.

You were lying in bed, wrapped up in blankets and wishing you were dead. Your stomach was turning, and you took deep breaths to try to keep from getting sick again. Your throat burned from throwing up and you were dreading doing it again.

Your phone vibrated on your bedside table and you snuck a hand out of your blanket cocoon to pull it in. Dave had predictably been the one to text you, so you unlocked your phone to see what inane drivel he had sent you.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:43 --

TG: hey dude

TG: guess what

TG: I just saw the *cutest* cat in the world

TG: no joke

TG: i dont think its possible for a cat to be cuter than that

TG: it was super fluffy and sweet and it ran right up to me and rubbed up against my legs

TG: ugh

TG: i would die for that cat

TG: such a good cat

TG: so whats up with you?

CG: LYING IN BED TRYING NOT TO VOMIT FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS MORNING.

TG: oh

TG: sorry dude

TG: that really sucks

CG: YEP.

TG: is there anything I can do?

CG: PROBABLY NOT.

TG: have you been eating?

CG: NO, ANYTHING I EAT I’LL JUST THROW UP.

CG: PLUS I DON’T EXACTLY HAVE AN APPETITE AT THE MOMENT .

TG: thats not good dude

TG: been staying hydrated?

CG: I’VE ONLY BEEN GETTING UP TO THROW UP AND GO PEE SO NO.

TG: you need to replace those fluids dude

TG: you need to drink some water

CG: I DON’T WANT TO GET UP.

TG: well then theres something I can do for you

TG: if you cant/wont get up then ill come take care of it for you

CG: YOU DON’T NEED TO DO THAT, I’LL BE FINE.

TG: no I think I do

TG: its my job to take care of you now

TG: if theres anything I can do to help you im going to do it

TG: remember?

CG: YEAH, YEAH.

CG: IF IT’LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER THEN FINE.

TG: it will

TG: ill see you soon

CG: SEE YOU.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:13 --

You continued to lie in bed while you waited for Dave. Though you didn’t say it, you really did appreciate him wanting to come help. As much as you hated to admit it, you needed it.

You hadn’t realized you fell asleep until you were startled awake by your phone buzzing in your hand. You looked down at it blearily and saw that Dave had sent you a message: here. You told him to just come in, the door was unlocked. and you were the only one home.

A moment later you heard the front door creak open and Dave tentatively say, “Hello?”

“In here,” you croaked. Speaking was more painful than you were expecting.

You heard Dave make his way down the hall, towards your bedroom. “Marco?”

“Polo,” you groaned.

Your door opened a crack and Dave peeked in. “You in here?”

“Yeah.”

“Where?”

“On my bed?”

“Oh,” he said, stepping inside. “I couldn’t see you under that mountain of blankets. How the fuck are you not on fire under there?”

You groaned in lieu of a response.

He sat down on the edge of your bed and peeled back the blankets from your face. “You okay?”

“No.”

“I’m sorry, dude,” he said pushing your hair off of your face. “Have you thrown up again?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s good at least. I’m gonna go get you some water, okay?”

You groaned again.

He stood up and left the room.

Even though you knew you should, you really didn’t want to drink anything. It felt like whatever you ate or drank was going to come back up immediately and you were _so_ over throwing up.

Dave came back in the room with a glass in hand. “Hey, dude,” he said. “Can you sit up?”

You groaned and curled up in a tighter ball. You didn’t want to move, you were too tired for that shit.

Dave sat back on your bed and slid a hand under your head. “Come on, dude.” He lifted you up and handed you the glass. “You don’t wanna get dehydrated, trust me, that shit sucks.”

You rolled your eyes and brought the glass to your lips. You had intended to just take a small sip, but as soon as you got a mouthful of water you realized how thirsty you were and couldn’t help but chug it. Once the glass was empty you handed it back to Dave.

“If you barf because of that, it won’t be my fault,” he said.

He laid you back down and ran his fingers through your hair. You closed your eyes and let yourself enjoy it. You’d always loved having your hair played with.

Your nausea was starting to rise again, and you groaned, “This kid is going to kill me.”

“What? Why?” Dave asked, obviously concerned.

“Cause I feel like shit,” you whined. “God, they’re not even born yet and they’re already a little shit.”

“Well yeah,” Dave said. “It’s _our_ kid. I’d be a miracle if they weren’t a little shit.”

You chuckled weakly, “Yeah, I guess. I really didn’t think this was going to suck so much though. I’m tired of feeling like this.”

“I’m sorry, Kat. It shouldn’t last too much longer though, right? Doesn’t morning sickness go away after the first trimester? That’s what I read at least.”

You felt the now familiar feeling of your stomach turning and pushed Dave’s hand away, throwing yourself out of bed. As soon as your feet hit the floor you were running for the bathroom with a hand over your mouth. You dropped to your knees in front of the toilet just in time to throw up the water you just drank.

You felt Dave hands in your hair, keeping it out of your face as coughed and retched. You didn’t want Dave to see you like this, but you weren’t in any position to shoo him away.

Once you were pretty sure you were done throwing up you sat back on your ass and rested your forehead on your knee. It had only been two months, but you were already so fucking done with being pregnant.

“Here,” Dave said, sitting down beside you. In his hand was another glass of water and you gratefully took it from him.

After rising out your mouth you flushed the toilet and leaned against Dave’s side.

“This sucks,” you said quietly.

“I know,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

You nuzzled further into his side, “I’m so fucking tired of this. This kid better be cute as hell or I’m going to revolt.”

He snorted, “I’m sure they’ll be plenty cute. How could they not be with such sexy genes? I mean look at me.”

You shoved him lightly but couldn’t help but smile.

Dave’s hand returned to your hair and he asked, “So are you okay? Do you still feel like shit or did barfing help?”

You shrugged, “I don’t feel like puking anymore, so I guess that’s good. I’m still exhausted though, but I doubt that’s going to change for at least seven months.”

“Rip.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. You wanna try and sleep?”

You sighed. You had already gotten way more sleep than you usually would, and you didn’t want to fuck up your sleep schedule, but fuck it, you were tired. You were growing a human, you figured you’d earned a nap. “Yeah.”

“’Kay,” Dave said before scooping you into his arms and standing.

“Jesus fuck!” you exclaimed in alarm. “I have legs, you know!”

He shrugged a shoulder, “Yeah, but you feel shitty. Besides, I came over to help you out and so far all I’ve done is hand you glasses of water. I need to fill my helpfulness quota.”

You rolled your eyes, “Whatever, just don’t drop me. I swear to god I’ll fucking kill you if you do.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

He carried you into your room and tucked you into bed as if you were a child.

“I can get myself into bed on my own, you know,” you grumbled as he lifted the covers up to your chin.

“Yeah, but I’ve gotta practice my tucking skills. Should I do that dad thing where I tuck the covers in super tight all the way around you so you can’t fucking move?”

“Please don’t, I always hated that.”

“Everyone hates it.”

The corner of your mouth turned up in a tiny smile, “True.”

He smiled at you and tucked your hair behind your ear. “Night, Kat,” he said, leaning down to give you a kiss on the forehead.

Your smile grew, “You are such a dad.”

He raised an eyebrow, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Well yeah, it was one,” you said flatly.

He pointed a stern finger at you, “Don’t you sass me, mister,” he said, trying and failing to supress a grin.

“Okay, dad,” you said mockingly.

He snorted and shook his head, “Go to sleep already, jesus.”

“I’m not Jesus, I’m Karkat.”

He gave you another stern point and backed out of the room, flicking off the light and closing the door behind him.

You smiled and cuddled into your blankets. Despite still feeling sick as hell your heart felt light and happy. He was going to be such a good dad.

-

When you woke up there was a full glass of water and a plastic wrapped PB&J on your nightstand along with a note that read, “Eat!” In Dave’s angular handwriting. You smiled and your heart squeezed with affection.


	6. Chapter 6

Your nausea had thankfully been getting less intense everyday. You only threw up once every couple of days rather than multiple times everyday. Your fatigue hadn’t improved whatsoever though. It still took all of your will power to get yourself up in the morning.

Once you managed to get up though the rest of your morning routine was relatively easy: check yourself out in the mirror to see if you were showing yet, see that you weren’t, throw on the baggiest thing you owned anyway, brush your teeth, and piss for the millionth time. Today there was a disruption in your routine though.

When you lifted your shirt to check out your belly you almost missed it because you had gotten so used to seeing nothing. Instead of your stomach looking flat and unchanged there was a small, but distinct bump.

You stared down at yourself, unable to process what you were seeing. You ran your hand over it and felt that it really was there, you weren’t imagining it. There was a definite curve to your belly. It was also firmer than you were expecting. You ran your hand over it and tried to adjust to the bump you felt.

You always thought that you’d panic when you started showing, afraid it would make you dysphoric, but you weren’t. You were happy. You’d known you were having a baby in theory, but the little bump they’d caused made them feel real. Less like an idea and more like an actual baby. Tears rose to your eyes and you blinked them away.

The love you felt for your child was one you’d never experienced before, blinding in its intensity, but you were painfully aware of the hell you were in for because of it. You wanted your baby more than you had ever wanted anything, but you knew it wasn’t going to be easy. You honestly had no idea how you were going to manage. You knew that your friends would help you if you needed it, but the idea of having to rely on them like that didn’t sit right with you.

You pushed those thoughts out of your mind, the same way you had been for months. You knew that you weren’t going to be able to ignore it for much longer, but you were going to for as long as you could.

You heard your phone buzz on your nightstand and went over to grab it. It was predictably a text from Dave.

Every morning he would send you a good morning text, a dad joke, and would ask how you were. Having someone know what you were going through and giving a shit about it helped more than you thought it would.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 10:43 --

TG: good morning

TG: wanna hear a joke about construction?

CG: GOOD MORNING, AND SURE.

TG: im still working on it

CG: BOO.

TG: yeah it wasn’t one of my best

TG: oh well

TG: how are you today?

CG: THE USUAL.

CG: NAUSEOUS, TIRED, AND EMOTIONAL.

CG: I’VE STARTED SHOWING THOUGH, SO THAT’S EXCITING.

TG: oh cool

CG: YEP.

CG: IT MAKES IT FEEL REAL, YOU KNOW?

CG: IT’S WEIRD, IT’S LIKE PROOF THAT I REALLY AM HAVING A BABY.

TG: yeah that must be weird as hell

CG: OH, IT IS.

CG: I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT.

CG: THE ONLY WORD I CAN THINK OF IS “WEIRD.”

TG: seems like a good word for it

TG: so how big are you?

CG: NOT VERY.

CG: YOU WANT TO SEE IT?

TG: oh

TG: sure

CG: HERE’S A PIC.

TG: oh wow

TG: that is weird

CG: I KNOW RIGHT.

TG: I see what you mean about it feeling like proof

TG: it makes it feel like a thing that’s actually happening

TG: like

TG: theres definitely a baby in there

TG: I mean

TG: if i didnt know id probably just think you had a big lunch

TG: but i do know so its weird as shit

CG: WELL SAID.

TG: thanks

TG: im kind of a wordsmith

TG: but yeah

TG: weird

TG: the word of the day

CG: WEIRD, WEIRD, WEIRD.

TG: actually seeing them is going to be weird too

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

TG: your appointment?

TG: youre getting an ultrasound next week

TG: did you forget?

CG: OH SHIT.

CG: I DID.

CG: JESUS CHRIST MY BRAIN HAS TURNED INTO SOUP.

TG: i do believe that’s called baby brain my good dude

CG: IT SUCKS.

CG: THANKS FOR REMINDING ME THOUGH.

CG: ARE YOU STILL UP FOR GIVING ME A RIDE?

TG: yeah dude of course

CG: OKAY COOL.

-

On the day of your appointment Dave came to pick you up exactly on time, right down to the minute. He let you know he pulled into the driveway by sending you a meme. You rolled your eyes and slid off of your bed.

When you left your room though, you saw that your dad was sitting in the living room, watching T.V. Hoping that you could just sneak by him you quietly made your way to the door.

As soon as you turned the handle he said, “Where do you think you’re going?”

You froze. “Nowhere. Just hanging out with a friend.”

“I don’t recognize their car,” he said, looking out the window from where he sat on the couch.

“They’re a new friend,” you said.

“What’s their name?”

“Dave,” you said.

“A boy then,” he said. “Where are you two going?”

Shit.

“The library?” you said. “We’re going to study together.”

“You lying to me?” he asked, turning to look at you.

“What? No,” you said. You struggled to keep your voice level as panic began to rise in you. If he pressed you, you knew you would break. You weren’t ready for that conversation yet.

He eyed you skeptically. “Better not be,” he said, turning back to the T.V.

Taking that as a dismissal you quickly made your way outside. As soon as the car door was closed you heaved a sigh of relief. That could have gone _very_ poorly.

That was so fucking stressful. How were you supposed to tell him you got knocked up? He was going to kill you when he found out. Fuck. What were you going to do?

After taking a moment to pull yourself together you walked to Dave’s car and got in.

“You okay?” Dave as soon as you sat down.

“Yeah,” you groaned. “My dad is just a nightmare to deal with.”

“Ah,” he said. “I know that feel. What did he do?”

“He was asking questions. Made me so fucking nervous. He’s going to be fucking pissed when he finds out,” you groaned.

“I’m sorry,” he said with a sympathetic, possibly guilty look. “Is there anything I can do?”

You sighed and sat up straighter. “No, but thanks. Let’s get this over with.”

Following your directions Dave drove you to the medical center you made your appointment at. The closer you got the more nervous you became. By the time Dave pulled into the parking lot you were picking at you fingers and chewing your lip.

Once parked Dave turned to you and asked, “You okay, dude?”

“Uh,” you said. “Not really. I’m nervous as hell right now.”

“Why?” he asked.

You huffed a panicked laugh, “Remember when I said blood freaks me out? Well, I have to get my blood drawn today.”

“Oh. Is there any way I can help?” he asked, looking concerned.

“Probably not,” you said. “I just have to be a fucking adult and pull myself together.”

“Hmm,” he said. He didn’t seem convinced that that would work. You weren’t either.

You took a deep breath and said, “Lets just go.” You climbed out of the car and forced yourself to walk to the medical center.

Dave quickly caught up to you and held the door open for you.

“Who says chivalry is dead?” you said teasingly, trying to ignore your anxiety.

As soon as you walked into the lobby you immediately tensed up though. The air smelled sterile and the lights were harsh fluorescents. It felt exactly like every doctor’s office you had ever been in before.

You forced yourself to walk up to the board that listed where everything was. You searched for the blood lab and when you found it you turned and headed down the hall with Dave trailing after you. You opted to take the stairs because if you had to stop, even to take the elevator, you were afraid you’d lose your nerve.

Dave silently followed after you, not even questioning your decision to take the stairs despite having to go up five flights. By the time you reached your floor you were questioning yourself though. You were winded and felt remarkably out of shape.

“You good?” Dave asked.

You waved him off, not feeling up to speaking. Your mind felt far away. You went through the motions of checking in on autopilot, panicking too much to focus on what you were doing. Once you’d finished you went and sat in the waiting room.

There were posters on the walls depicting needles and people getting shots. Even the more cartoonish ones made you want to curl up into a tight, protective ball. You opted to look at the floor, feeling nauseous and panicky whenever you looked at one of the posters.

You couldn’t stop biting your lip, even when you started to taste blood. You tried to take deep breaths, but your chest was tight with panic. You were bouncing your knee and picking at the skin on your fingers, desperately trying to calm yourself down.

You were shocked back to reality when Dave took one of your hands in his, preventing you from picking at your hands anymore.

“You’re going to make yourself bleed,” he said gently.

You took a deep breath and nodded. You appreciated him stopping you. You wouldn’t have been able to stop yourself, and you didn’t want to hurt your hands. You had done that before, and it always sucked afterwards.

Dave looked like he wanted to help you but didn’t know how. You didn’t blame him; you didn’t know how to help yourself either. You could feel how concerned he was in his grip.

You closed your eyes and focused on slowing your breathing. ‘Think of the baby,’ you told yourself. ‘You’re doing this for your baby.’

“Karkat?” a nurse called.

You looked up, panicked. You weren’t ready. You couldn’t do it; you were too much of a coward.

“Come on,” Dave said, standing up. “You can do this.”

“I really don’t think I can,” you said, wide eyed and shaking.

Dave’s brow creased. “Can you give us a second?” he asked the nurse.

“Sure,” she said, “take your time.” She then headed back into the room she came from.

Dave crouched down in front of you. “We can reschedule ,” he said gently. “We don’t have to do it today.”

You shook your head, “If I don’t do it today, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to. I just have to buck up and do it.”

Dave rubbed his thumb along the back of your hand. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Probably not,” you said honestly. “Fuck, parents are supposed to be able to make sacrifices for their kids and I can’t even get pricked by a needle for mine.”

“It’s okay to be scared of things, dude,” Dave said. “Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you’re going to immediately become fearless.”

You nodded, still not convinced. “I just feel like I should be able to do this. Like I should have some drive to do the right thing for my kid that’s stronger than fear.”

“I don’t think it works like that,” Dave said with a small compassionate smile. “What if I go with you? I could talk to you the whole time, keep your mind off things?”

You shrugged. You weren’t sure if that would work.

“Will you at least give it a shot? If it’s too much you can just say so and you don’t have to do it.”

You took a couple deep, steadying breaths and nodded.

“Okay,” Dave said with a reassuring smile.

He stood up again and hoisted you up by the hand he was still holding. He then walked over to the door the nurse disappeared behind and knocked.

The door opened and the nurse asked, “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Dave said.

He gave your hand a little squeeze and pulled you into the room. He led you over to the chair and sat you down. He crouched beside you on the opposite side of the nurse and pulled out his phone. He held it up to you, so you had to turn away from the nurse to see it and showed you a photo of a big, scruffy dog.

“This is the Mayor,” He said. “He followed me home when he was a puppy and I was just like ‘cool, I guess I have a dog now.’”

He swiped to the next picture and it was of the Mayor covered head to toe in mud. “This is how the Mayor reacts whenever it rains. Whenever we go out on a walk and he sees a patch of mud he immediately starts rolling around in it. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he’s a pig. He has an unhealthy love of dirt. It’s a problem. It takes forever to get him clean.”

You felt the nurse tie a band around your arm and a jolt of panic shot through you. Dave must have noticed because he regained his hold on your hand and flipped to another picture. This one was of the Mayor lying down with a soup can in his mouth.

“He has a weird obsession with cans. I brought home groceries the other day and as soon as my back was turned, he stuck his face in the bag and grabbed the first one he could find. I’ve seriously considered not buying anything that comes in a can anymore, but its more difficult than you’d think.”

Right when he swiped over to the next picture you felt a prick in the crook of your elbow. You were about to turn and look out of instinct, but Dave squeezed your hand and redirected your attention.

“My sister Roxy gave him this squeaky toy that looks like a can of Tab and it’s by far his favourite toy. He likes to carry it around, even when he’s not playing with it. He’s so fucking cute it hurts.”

“All done,” the nurse said. She untied the band and taped a cotton ball to your arm. “You’re free to go,” She said before leaving the room.

You were shocked. It was over?

Dave stood up and gave you a big smile.

You were so relieved you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

He laughed in surprise and returned your hug. “Good job, dude. I knew you could do it.”

You felt a couple of tears squeeze out of your eyes and you wiped your face on Dave’s shirt.

He chuckled and rubbed your back. “You okay?”

“Yeah” you said. “I’m just weirdly emotional.”

“When in doubt, blame it on the pregnancy.”

“Oh, I will,” you said. You lifted your face off of his chest and gave him a smile. “You’re going to be such a good dad.”

He smiled bashfully back at you, “I hope so. You’re already a good parent.”

Feeling emotional again you hid your face back in Dave’s chest. “Fuck, you can’t just say nice things about me. I’m too pregnant for that.”

He laughed again and gave you a light kiss to the top of your head. Your heart fluttered happily, and you ignored it.

“Okay,” you said, pulling yourself together and taking a step back. “Let’s go see our baby.”

You led Dave down to the ultrasound clinic by the hand. Your heart was pounding, and your palms were sweating like a teenager with their first crush. You felt ridiculous. You were having a child with the man and you were blushing like a virgin over holding hands.

You repeated the process of checking in considerably calmer than you were the first time. Rather than feeling so anxious you could puke you were excited. You couldn’t wait to see your baby. You figured it was just going to look like a blob since it was still so early, but you didn’t care. Blob or not it was still your baby.

“Karkat?” a nurse called.

“Here we go,” you said, standing up and pulling Dave up with you.

You followed the nurse into a dimly lit room. “Lie down and lift your shirt, please,” the nurse said.

You did as you were told, and Dave sat in the chair next to the bed. You reached out and grabbed Dave’s hand again. He gave you a smile and your hand a squeeze.

“This is going to be cold,” the nurse said, squirting gel on your belly.

Cold was an understatement, it was freezing. A shiver ran through you and you grit your teeth. The gel was immediately followed by plastic wand. The wand was pressed firmly against your belly and you irrationally feared that it would hurt your baby.

You couldn’t see the screen, so you watched the nurse’s face. They looked calm. You couldn’t get anything from them.

“There they are,” the nurse said. “Would you like to see?”

“Yes,” you said, almost cutting them off in your excitement.

Next to you Dave nodded, his jaw clenched.

The nurse turned the screen and you heart skipped a beat. You were expecting a blob, just a little grey smudge. That wasn’t what it was. It was a baby.

You could see their face in profile, their arms, legs, and little potato body. It felt strange, knowing that the baby you saw on the screen was inside of you, curled up in a ball. It may have been a little grey silhouette, but it was the cutest thing you had ever seen. You couldn’t look away.

The baby was wiggling around a lot more than you were expecting too. You watched your baby stretch and curl back up, kick their feet and wave their arms. Despite how much they were moving you couldn’t feel a thing. The baby suddenly jumped, and you looked at the nurse in a panic.

“What was that?” you asked.

They smiled at you reassuringly and said, “They have the hiccups.”

You laughed and your eyes filled with tears. Looking to Dave you saw him smiling at the screen, seeming completely smitten. You reached out and grabbed one of his hands, bringing it to your lips for a kiss. He gave your hand a squeeze and smiled a little wider.

“Their heart looks good,” the nurse said. “See that little fluttering there? That’s their heart beating. Would you like to hear it?”

“Yes,” you said hastily. “Please,” you added, feeling rude.

The nurse smiled and clicked a button on their keyboard.

You could suddenly hear a strange whooshing noise. It didn’t sound like a heartbeat and for a moment you were worried before the nurse said, “Fetal heartbeats are a lot faster than normal. Although it sounds strange it’s perfectly healthy. It’s very strong and steady.”

You relaxed and went back to listening to the whooshing of your baby’s heart. You usually hated hearing heartbeats, they grossed you out, but the murmuring of your baby’s heart was the best sound you’d ever heard. Your own heart ached, and you let out another tearful, relieved laugh.

You looked over at Dave and saw that he seemed to be feeling something similar. His jaw was clenched, and his eyebrows were turned up. You couldn’t see his eyes because of his stupid shades, but you were willing to bet he was teary eyed behind them. He seemed to be feeling the same pang of love as you.

“Their brain looks good. Blood flow is too. And they’re a good size. They’re in the 75th percentile, so they’re a little bigger than average. Everything looks perfect.”

You let out a sigh of relief. You hadn’t let yourself consider the possibility that something was wrong. You didn’t know what you would have done. You would have been devastated. Knowing that your baby was okay lifted a huge weight from your shoulders.

“We’re almost done. Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” the nurse asked.

You looked to Dave and he shrugged. The sex of your baby didn’t really matter to you, but you weren’t against knowing it.

“Sure?” you said, checking Dave’s reaction to see if he had any objection.

He nodded.

“Alright,” the nurse said with a smile. “It’s a girl.”

You laughed breathlessly. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. You had a daughter. You didn’t know why but hearing that you were having a girl made things feel more real.

Dave laughed too and his face broke into a wobbly smile. There was no doubt about it anymore, he was definitely crying. You gave his hand a squeeze and he squeezed it back.

“All done,” the nurse said before handing you a towel. “Take your time getting cleaned up. Congratulations, you two.”

“Thanks,” you said.

The nurse gave you both printed off pictures from the ultrasound and left the room.

you wiped the gel off of your belly and sat up.

“So that was a thing,” Dave said.

You laughed, “That it was.”

You stood up and before you could pull your shirt back down, Dave reached a hand out to touch your belly but snatched it back at the last second, “Oh, sorry, I should probably ask you before I go and put my grubby paws all over you.”

You rolled your eyes, “It’s fine, Dave.” You grabbed his hand and placed it on your belly yourself. “You made the bump, you can touch the bump.”

He gave you a shy smile before focusing back on the hand on your belly. “So you’re a girl, huh baby?” he said quietly.

You smiled, “Yep. We have a daughter. ”

“Yeah,” he said, still smiling down at your belly.

You rubbed your thumb along the back of his hand, “I wasn’t expecting her to be so big. I thought she was just going to look like a blob, but she’s so fucking cute.”

“She is,” he said looking proud. “She has your nose.”

You rolled your eyes, “There’s no way you could tell from that.”

He shrugged, “I mean, I could definitely be wrong, but it looked like yours to me. Cute little button nose.”

You blushed and looked down at your hands. “…We should probably go.”

“Yeah,” he said.

He kissed your forehead before removing his hand from your belly and pulling your shirt down. He took your hand in his and led you back down the hall and out of the clinic.


End file.
